Wednesday, September 26, 2012

minutes into years


I will never forget the feeling I felt when I read pregnant for the very first time. 

We had been back from our honeymoon for over three weeks and it was no secret
 Paul and I wanted babies right away!

Another feeling I will never forget? 

When I kissed his lips for the very first time! 
When I breathed in his skin and soaked in all the noises he was making. Seeing his hands and feet. Knowing he and every other part of him, grew inside of me. 



Getting his hair cut for the big day. 

Sister felt left out, so we cut her's too...just a little! 

I knew this day would come. 

But what I didn't realize was how fast it would meet us. 



Choosing his backpack!


I feel like it was only yesterday that I walked aisle through aisle at the grocery store... 
... the last shopping trip I would take solo, the last one I would take before I became a Mommy. 

I envisioned everything I picked up and placed in my basket, 
being used by all the family and friends that would visit us those first days at home. 

Fast forward four, short years later... 

The night before this day was brutal. 

We let him sleep between us. I knew in my heart that after this day, he would forever be changed. 
He would meet new people and make friends. 
He would be exposed to things I wouldn't be there to protect from seeing and hearing. 

He would fly! 
I woke up almost every hour, soaking in all of his four year old noises he makes while he sleeps... Breathing in his sweet breath that still smells like... baby!

I selfishly dreaded for morning to come, but this guy - he couldn't wait!

Never in my life have I ever been so aware of ' the moment. ' 

Nor have I ever been so aware of the mean, mean fact that... 



...Time flies ...




And it flies quickly. And no matter who you are, time shows no favors. No compassion. No freebies. 

Although growing hurts, it brings new seasons. New challenges. New experiences and memories. 

Wow, was this kid brave. 

He walked in like he owned it. Like he'd been doing it for years. Like he belonged. 

And I was so proud. 




My first born, the one who made me Mommy. 
Your smile lights up this world. Your laughter is food for my soul. 
Your spirit is strong and brave. 
Here was another of your many firsts. 
I love you, my son. 
Our hearts are one forever. 
-Mama



Saturday, September 15, 2012

trust

 These last several weeks have been quiet.

I set this month aside, taking on only a couple of sessions so I could spend quality time with my family.
Catch up on some editing and recooperate from August being really, really busy.

Prepare for October and November.. and December.

We've swam. Laid in the sun. Visited family in Fresno. 
Caught up on some reading, and enjoyed long walks. 
Slept in. 
Paul has been busier at work then ever. 
Leaving me home alone.
 Leaving me to remember to water the grass and drag yucky, smelly trash cans to the curb "Sunday Night or Monday Morning. Do it Sunday night, otherwise you'll forget. " 
I did forget, one week. But, he doesn't have to know that!! 
Anyway. 
This time of "leisure" has given me the opportunity to pay attention to the things I don't realize when I'm going from day to day as best as I can.

Our Little Tonka has quickly grown into a little lady.
Her last piece of "baby" she has left is the thing that she named " Bobby!"
I'm questioned and probably criticized for allowing my two year old to hold on to something she is getting too big for. But, selfishly... when I stare at her while she's sleeping and wonder where the time has gone, seeing that binky makes me feel like she's still a baby.
I know we're going to have to kick it to the curb soon, but for now, I'm going to love every minute of seeing it in her- not so baby mouth! 
 Speaking of " where has the time gone? " Cole starts preschool next Thursday.
Lastnight he innocently asked if I would be sad when I drop him off.
Funny how children are keen on feelings and their surroundings.
Sometimes, most of the time actually, we don't realize it.

I lied when I answered.

I said " of course not. "
" Your going to make friends, and learn so many cool things.
 You'll  go on field trips, and have sooooo much fun. "

" Will you miss me?" he then asked!

" Yes, but... it will be worth it! "

I keep reminding myself its only for three hours a day.

And he will learn. He will have fun. And he'll fly! 


For those who know me, they know this is a huge step.
Letting go of the things I treasure the most.
I have major control issues when it comes to my children.
Trust is another problem of mine.
Trusting complete strangers, I pray that I'm given strength and courage,
and that for the first few days/weeks I'm able to put on a poker face...
especially if Cole freaks out.
Keep us in your thoughts!




 ***

Visiting Fresno for a wedding shower!

I had a killer sinus infection that left me tired and sniffly.

Advil cold and congestion, lots of cough drops, and the wine we drank helped me get through it.

It was beautifully done, and I was able to get some shots of the details.

Before I knew it, I was chatting with family and new friends.. thoroughly enjoying the crisp and fruity pinot grigio and realized this was the first time I was away from the kids in over four weeks.

Four weeks.

And this was the perfect reason to escape for a bit.




I'm happily using BlogStomp.

Another problem of mine?

Old habits break hard, and I'm a total creature of habit.

I've known about Blogstomp for months, and I've heard nothing but great things about it...
from big time bloggers and photographers!
"It will insanely lighten your workload!" was one of the few things I remember reading,
and my brain screamed it to my fingers my hand when I was banging my mouse out of frustration when the last post I wrote took me over 2 hours.

I'm HAPPILY using BlogStomp,
and there was no banging of my mouse this post!

What use to take me hours to get a blog post up, now took me just under 20 minutes. And most of that was writing. I got these pictures up that you see in less then 7 minutes ( this is including editing time! )

And the workload just lightened people!!!

Trust.

I finally trusted that another source might help me, and it has.

I must Trust that preschool and the teachers will only make my first born better.

He will learn, and thrive.

He will fly! 

My husband and I have a movie/dinner date tonight...
and we just picked out some things for my new office.

I'm beyond excited for the new things coming my way...
but for the time being...

We'll be seeing a movie tonight and enjoying a quiet dinner, that I didn't make, and we'll be able to walk away without worrying about dishes or bathtime!

Happy Saturday Friends!

this is a collage of my instagram photos from the week. They were uploaded and dropped into a collage hosted by photobucket. 
I am @sheenawilkins if you'd like to follow us and our weekly adventures!
wk 2


Thursday, September 06, 2012

D & D; wedding

It was a perfect day, for a perfect couple. 

Deanna and Dave chose to have a August wedding in Pala, California. 

It was a day full of love, surrounded by their closest friends and family. 

The love these two have for eachother is fun, exciting, and genuine. 

I was able to witness it firsthand when it was just the three of us...

Deanna and Dave, 
Thank You for choosing to me to capture the first day of the rest of your lives. 
I wish you a life full love love, health, and laughter. 
-S

.enjoy.

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" For it was not into my ear you whispered, 
but into my heart. 
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." -Judy Garland
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